Dear Jasmine,
Today has probably been the ‘best’ day we have had since you have been gone. “Moving on” brings such guilt as we know you can’t move on. You are stuck. However we know that we must move on as a family. I have a great confidence that you will be in our life again in the future and we need to be a healthy family ready to help our lost daughter.
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day for me as I will be loading your belongings in Darlene’s truck. It will be tough in many ways, because I will officially be loading up your stuff and because I don’t have much desire to interact with Darlene. Though I hope this works itself out over time, or there will be zero chance that I get to see you intermittently over the next few years.
When a sad song comes on or when I sit and think about you for any amount of time I break down in tears. I am so sorry that you have lost your forever family just two weeks before Thanksgiving and six weeks before Christmas.
I couldn’t sleep Saturday morning so I woke up at 4:45AM and wrote you a letter. I don’t know if Darlene will deliver it to you, but I will give it to her. Then I spent part of Saturday going through all of our digital pictures and I’m going to miss your smile. I hope you get the ability to look at the pictures on the CD I will be sending to you.
I still don’t understand how we lost you. It was tough for you and us, but we were all committed to each other and I know that we would have won out over your past. Though I hope, even with this set back, that you still win out over your past. Look forward my girl, be the star we know you can be.
Your dad (if even for only 5 months),
Clarence
P.S. This is the second letter I have written to you. It will not be the last. There will be days when I am thinking of you and I will send a shout out to you. I’m so sad for me, but it is nothing in comparison to what I feel for you.