Chapter 8, continuing on the ceremony topic covered in chapter 7 is titled, Four Key Manhood Ceremonies.
The chapter started off with a story about Gettysburg. How after the battle they wanted to have a ceremony to honor the soldiers, and the general practice of the day was for the keynote speaker to speak for roughly two hours and deliver a great message. The man that was chosen was Edward Everett. He delivered a great speech, however what is remembered from that day is a 272 word address from Abraham Lincoln. The point being made that there are two things to remember as you walk your journey toward ceremony.
1. This is a work in progress. Things aren’t going to stay the same over the years.
2. Ceremonies produce surprises.
Many times what you expect to be the key moment of a ceremony ends up becoming a side point to the larger message. Nobody would have thought that Abraham Lincoln’s message would be what is remembered.
Next the author described his family crest that he created at the beginning of his process. Going over each element to explain what it means.
Then he went over the four stages that he laid out to have a ceremony.
1. Puberty.
2. High school graduation.
3. College Graduation (or equivalent).
4. Marriage.
Each of these provide a time to have a great life conversation with your son.
During the first phase, this is where you introduce what the next several years will look like. This is where you give the definition of manhood and what you expect of him as he becomes a man. Then you have to reinforce this over the years as real life situations come into play. Now one of the benefits that the author had is that by watching their younger brother go through this journey his daughters got a picture of what a real man should look like.
High school graduation was then covered, and the author laid out the risk of this time of life. If a clear and affirming message is not given then the opportunity to ‘get in trouble’ is great for the son.
College graduation, or an equivalent life event is when the boy becomes a man. This time is ‘spiked’ by a gift and is when the boy becomes a man and then is involved in future manhood ceremonies. When their brothers go through the process they are expected to participate as a man.
This chapter was filled with great practical moments. This book rocks.
[Initially Written: 3.8.09]
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