Chapter 7 is titled, The Power of Ceremony. I took a lot from this chapter in how to communicate progress to my boys as they get older.
Think about times in your life that are memorable. While many are going to be things that happen in life, the ones that REALLY stick out to you are ceremonies. Funerals, weddings, baptisms, and similar events. The author put it this way:
Ceremonies are those special occasions that weave the fabric of human existence. Weddings. Award banquets. Graduations. The day you became an Eagle Scout or were accepted into a fraternity. We remember because of ceremony.
Think back upon the significant moments in your life. With few exceptions, the value of those moments was sealed by ceremonies. Someone took the time to plan the details, prepare the speech, and purchase the awards – so you would feel special.
Ceremony should be one of the crown jewels for helping a boy become a man. In many cultures throughout history, a teenage boy has been taken through some type of ritual to mark his official passage into manhood. I believe one of the great tragedies of Western culture today is the absence of this type of ceremony.
Two things stick out to me there. The comment that ‘someone took the time to plan the details’. Ceremonies by their definition don’t just happen. They are planned and expected to produce something. The other comment was how our Western culture is missing this very element to our life’s.
Dig. Set. Spike.
This is how the author relates the process to getting to a ceremony. The phrase is taken from Volley Ball, where a person ‘digs’, which puts the ball into play. ‘Set’s’ where a person sets the ball up for a spike, which seals the deal and gives the point to the team. The dig is compared to the point where a dad comes to the understanding that a greater life is to be had and starts to work on his character development. The set is the early years of a son’s life. Where you start laying the ground work to spike home the fact that your boy has made a transition in life. The ceremony.
This process is then played out for a knight, and after the very detailed process the question was asked:
Do you think this young man would ever wonder if he really became a knight?
NO! The process was so deliberate that this boy knew when he was a knight. The same should be for our boys they should know when they are men. No questions asked.
The chapter this concludes with an answer to the following question, “What makes a good ceremony?” Which is given a four part answer:
1. Memorable Ceremonies are costly.
2. Memorable Ceremonies ascribe value.
3. Memorable ceremonies employ symbols.
4. Memorable ceremonies empower a life with vision.
Number two and three really hit home for me.
Ceremonies should ascribe value, in that it should say two things to the person at the center of the ceremony. You are important! This is important! They need to understand the ramifications to what just happened.
I really enjoyed the concept of symbols. I think that having something solid to look at, hold, feel, etc… really drives home the message. I am actually working on getting a ‘family crest’ together for my future knights!
I am a bit overwhelmed and looking forward to the ceremonies of my own children.
[Initially Written: 3.8.09]
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