This is a bit of a long post, but if you read anything... scroll down to the bold section and read it...
I've not commented much on the latest book I've been reading:
How To Really Love Your Children by Ross Campbell, M.D.
It is actually two books in one:
How to Really Love Your Child - focused on pre-teen and younger.
How to Really Love Your Teenager - focused on teenagers (duh!)
I have just finished the first half, and its been an OK book. A few things I really like, a few things I violently disagree with.
It goes over how to love your child with eye contact, physical contact, and focused attention. Then it goes over why a child acts out and such.
Now one thing that this book did go over kind of changed (or at least made me recognize this as what I believe) my mind. Basically if a child has discipline issues, it is your job to love them out of it. When I read this I related it to church. I've always said that a church should bend over backwards to try and help a person that needs it. Because the church as a whole is better than the individual person. I think this fits with children and parents as well. A parent usually is much better than the child, and if you can try more to help the child then you should. It isn't up to them to just obey, its up to you to get them to obey.
However I didn't like how it put, what seemed like, all the burden on the parents for what their children do. One comment that was made was:
I have never known of one sexually disoriented person who had a warm, loving, and affectionate father.
I thought that was an unfair burden to put on the father... so I emailed a good friend of mine who has a homosexual brother. This good friend has always talked about how he and his dad did things together as children, and even today they seem pretty close. Was honestly caught off guard by the answer my friend gave me because it kind of confirmed this statement. Still think its an unfair statement, but I guess there has to be a lot of truth to it. I'm sure there are many exceptions.
If you read anything, read this!!!
The last part I liked was in the last chapter of part one. The last chapter is titled: "Helping Your Child Spiritually"
I am just going to quote part of it:
At this point, let's examine a popular misconception. It goes something like this: "I want my child to learn to make his own decisions after he is exposed to everything. He shouldn't feel he has to believe what I believe. I want him to learn about different religions and philosophies; then when he has grown up he can make his own decision."
This parent is copping out or else is grossly ignorant of the world we live in. a child brought up in this manner is indeed one to be pitied. Without continual guidance and clarification in ethical, moral, and spiritual matters, he will become increasingly confused about his world. There are reasonable answers to many of life's conflicts and seeming contradictions. One of the finest gifts parents can give a child is a clear, basic understanding of the world and its confusing problems. Without this stable base of knowledge and understanding, is it any wonder many children cry to their parents, "Why didn't you give me a meaning for all this? What's it all about?"
<Skip a page and a half or so>
There is a lot of truth in the old statement, "Experience is the best teacher." Let him share in yours. The sooner a child learns to trust God, the stronger he will become.
Couldn't have put it better myself!