When it comes to how Christians choose what friends to have I see us as having two dynamics we must take into consideration. And if you’ve enjoyed my last two post, take the time to read this entire post I have some good stuff near the bottom.
1. Bad company corrupts good character.
Are your friends a good influence on you? Would you include your strong Christian friends in when you are around this “bad” friend? Or would you be embarrassed to take them with you? Do your friends make you a more wholesome person? Do they make you more Christ like (and even your non-Christian friends can make you more Christ like, more on that later). In the end you need to look at your conscience. If you would feel fine standing up at church and showing everybody what you did with this friend, then your probably fine. But if you would be ashamed to share the events of the time with them, then you’re probably in an unhealthy relationship for you. The next place you need to evaluate is how it affects your family and close friends. If your friends make the people who are close to you uncomfortable, then they probably see something you don’t. They generally know you better than you know yourself. And if your married you really need to put your spouses feelings above your own. If a friend really makes your spouse uncomfortable, then love them. Let that friend go. Now the balance here is to make sure you’re not enabling a jealous attitude. When in doubt ask some of your other Christian friends. See if they have the same hesitation about that friendship, at that point your spouse is probably on to something you don’t see.
2. We need to “Get God on the sinners.”
We need to hang around sinners to spread God to them. The questions you have to ask yourself here are something like: Am I able to hold to my convictions while around this person? Do you call them higher, instead of them pulling you lower? If your character or moral convictions aren’t quite strong enough to counter the life style of this friend then you need to protect yourself and pull away from that friendship.
The couple I referenced in an earlier post had an issue like this. The wife started going to the bar after work with her friends. But she didn’t have the moral conviction to do this. The end result was a pregnancy from an adulterous relationship! I still remember the call I got from this friend like it was yesterday. She had to confess it to somebody, to get it out in the light. I remember sitting down with this couple and a few friends and her having to tell her husband that she was pregnant. They had other children that just had their lives ruined. And I know somebody reading this is saying, this isn’t me. I am different. But it is you, you are not different. Satan is smarter than all of us, he knows our weakness’ and strengths. Don’t think you can outsmart him. And frankly who knows, God may be allowing Satan to have his way with you as he did to Job. God may be teaching you a lesson for living outside of his will. But with God inside you, you are greater than satan.
I know some of you are thinking I am saying you can’t have fun, FAR from it! If you can go to a bar or club as a designated driver and be Jesus to them then do it, I am not even opposed to the occasional drink. Be that example, show that you can go to a bar or club and have some fun and not get drunk in the process.
Now then there are some places a Christian just shouldn’t go. But by saying no you are standing up for Jesus, and what he did on a cross. I remember at my first job I was a young Christian, and I worked in a very rough factory. The people were just lacking morals. At first I got invited to many things (either overtly asking, or by including me in a conversation as things were planned), from strip clubs to doing drugs. But I said no. I told them why I couldn’t go, and eventually the invitations stopped coming. But you know what replaced those invitations, was conversations about my God. By not joining them in their activities it allowed me to get some God on them later on. Had I followed along, I would have lost that chance. What chances to spread God’s message are you losing? Are you helping your friends’ path to hell?
So think about your friends and ask three questions:
1. Do they make me a better person in the eyes of God?
2. Do I make them a better person in the eyes of God?
3. Do I put God in a good light when I am around this person?
If you answer no to any of these, then you know what you need to do. That friendship isn’t healthy for you go find some friends that can at least make the answers to 1 and 3 into YES.