Cincifamily.com

So tomorrow is fathers day.  A bit of a bitter sweet holiday.  Friday is my 32nd birthday.

Two days that always put me in a state of reflection. 

When I was three years old my dad died in a house fire, so I recognize that tomorrow is never guaranteed.  I recognize that not having tomorrow would affect many more people than just me.

Every fathers day I am thankful for the fact that my children know who I am.  If I were to die today, my oldest three would have very specific and fun memories of their dad.  My youngest, not so sure.  I actually do talk to them about this at certain times.  Not to take ‘tomorrow’ for granted and to be grateful for what is a pretty functional, two-parent household.

In many ways I’m thankful for the events that happened in 1981.  It has made me who I am today.  My dad has a mixed legacy.  Some people have great memories of him, others have horrific memories of him.  Many have both… I often wonder who I’d be had my father had a part in raising me.  What would he have taught me?  How would his parenting have influenced mine?  In large part, due to the negative I have heard about, I am thankful that I started my fatherhood with a clean slate.  I had no example on how to be a dad.  I’ve truly been winging it for 13 years.  Looking at my friends and seeing how they behave as dads.  Trying to take what is good and impress that upon my children. 

As I sat here in a period of reflection, Danny Gokey’s music video came on TV.  “My Best Days Are Ahead of Me.”  God willing, my best days are ahead of me.

I’m old enough to look back on life and see what I’ve done right and what I’ve done wrong.  I’m young enough to look forward and dream about another 40+ years of life. As I get to watch my parenting come to fruition as my children move onto adult hood.  Where they will choose a career, a spouse, and hopefully a grounding in the Christian faith.  I know the importance of daddy.  I know that what I do to them will influence the decisions they make then.  I dream about watching my 13 year old father my grandchildren.  My 12 year old loving her husband and nurturing my grandchildren.  My 9 year old… my ball of fire, refining that energy into a laser focus to what he focuses on in life.  My 5 year old growing up with an appreciation for what he has due to a string of events that happened when he was just 5 months old.  I envision celebrating a marriage that has lasted 50+ years at a time when marriage of 10 years are rare, much less 50. I dream about the great victories.  I dream about, through being a foster parent, what children will come through our doors and I will be their daddy, if only for a temporary moment in time. I have a healthy respect and fear for the unknown.  I know that anything can  happen today that changes those dreams dramatically. 

So here’s to dreaming about the future.

Helen Thomas is an 87 year old reporter who also happens to have the special status of being a White House correspondent.  In May she made a comment that has, fairly, been criticized as discriminatory toward the Jewish people.  In essence she said, they should get out of Israel and go to Poland. 

I’m going to be honest and say I don’t get the full issue around the Jews and America.  There are things at play that I just don’t understand.  From the Holocaust to money to political power.  So I guess Poland is their home??  I can only imagine this statement if it were slightly different.  If a reporter had said that all blacks should go back to Africa, or all Hispanics to Mexico.  If THOSE comments had been made with this president there is no doubt that the reporter would have lost access to the White House.  The fact that she has been able to keep that is awful. 

I know liberals, in general, have wanted to be the anti-George Bush administration (no, REALLY… click that link, its a classic) and they felt that GWB was too Israel friendly, but to go this far the other way is an embarrassment.

Helen Thomas should lose her access to the White House and be fired by her employer.  At least her agency has some class.

[Initially Written 6/6/2010 10:39PM]

Ever since I joined the Thomas Nelson Publishing book review program (where they send me books for free to review), I’ve been reading many more books in life.  This book has been one of the best I’ve been asked to review.

I went into reading this book with low expectations.  The author, Pete Wilson, is the minister for a large contemporary church in Nashville, Tennessee.  Generally churches like that put me off more than they inspire me, so I expected the same from this book.  Thankfully I was very wrong.  This book will shake the core of many readers.  It will challenge who you are due to your circumstances. 

When I read a book I generally do it in a set process.  First I read it strait through with no real deep study of the contents.  If, after that initial reading, I really like it I will go back and read it chapter by chapter.  Generally going through it on my blog.  This will be such a book, there is a future series coming about this book.

One of the items I don’t see pushed enough in this book is the potential to be used for small group and church studies.  This would cause great bonding and growth in both if people got on board with going through it.

Plan B’s happen in life and its not a matter of if you deal with them, but how.  This book helps answer the how.

This book gets one of my highest recommendations.

I’ve read a lot of opinions on Tiger Wood’s and the problems he has had recently.  I do use this blog as a bit of a journal of my thoughts, so I’m going to throw out some thoughts here.

Is it a big deal?

Yes.  Sure, Tiger Woods is “just a sports star.”  BUT, I’m telling you that children look up to these stars in a great way.  Especially when those stars sell themselves as role models.  My oldest son wrote a paper about himself earlier this year, and his role models were players on the Reds.  So yes, it matters when a person like Tiger Woods falls as much as he has fallen.

I’m young enough to remember the effects that Bill Clinton had on America’s youth.  I was in junior high and high school when he was going through his indiscretions.  The change his actions had on the thoughts and actions of teenagers was amazing, and not in a good way.  From, “I tried pot'” to Monica Lewinsky. 

Now, the biggest star of our current time, has taken his marriage and disregarded it in his personal life. I shudder to think what this is going to do to marriage when today’s youth grow up a bit.  Especially as some of the gory details come out.

Women’s rights groups react?

Earlier this week I was taking a vacation day and the upstairs TV was on “The Wendy Williams Show”, as it comes on after the news that my wife watches.  She was talking about how the women’s rights groups were going to jump all over Tiger Woods.  Excuse me??  Last time I checked there were 10 reported women who ignored the marriage vows just as much as Tiger did. 

The State Of Marriage…

Makes me sick.  I’ve sat and watched several friends go through infidelity.  Several, “Christian” friends.  Is it that hard to actually stay committed to your spouse?  I’ve been married for 12 years and have never had the urge to step out on my wife.  We, as a culture, have failed when it comes to honoring marriage so it is no surprise that the very institution of marriage is under attack.  Because “normal” is broke.  I fast forward my life and, God willing, when I am 60 my wife and I can be that couple celebrating 41 years of marriage… and frankly, I feel like we’d be the only ones there.  It is rare today, imagine how rare it will be in 2040. 

Maybe I’m being ‘judgmental’, but some things should be judged, and without apologies.  There are things that must be fought for, even when you aren’t perfect.  Marriage is one such thing. 

I’m fed up!

This year I watched a friendship disappear due to infidelity.  This was not the first friend to go down such a path, but was probably the one I learned the most from.  The next friend will be handled differently.  In the past I’ve tried to be a negotiator, trying to get the offending spouse to “see the light” with reason and logic.  But the truth is, that has never worked.   The next friend will be hit with the truth and realistic consequences of the truth.  I’m tired of watching marriages fall apart.  

Everyday I listen to Focus on the Families daily broadcast.  Yesterday something was said that stuck with me.

It’s never a matter of time, its a matter of priorities.

Wow.  How many times have you said, “I don’t have time.”  I know I’ve said it a lot, but it is never a matter of time.  It is always a matter of my priorities.  My priorities have not been right, much.  Forget ‘all the time’, my priorities have often been out of whack.  It is easy to say, “I don’t have time.”  But the sad truth is, I had the time I just didn’t put what I should have put as a priority. 

This year has probably been the worst in that regard.  I spent a lot of time on things that shouldn’t have been the priority they were. 

In 1979 a British group called The Buggles released a song titled, “Video Killed the Radio Star”.  The music video for this song was the first video played on MTV at 12:10 AM August 1st, 1981 and then later the one millionth video on February 27, 2000.  MTV killed the below average looking musician.  Now, not only did you have to be able to sing you had to have the look as well.

I think the religious world is on the verge of the same dynamic.  Many large churches have started something new, satellite churches that have no actual minister.  What they have is a big screen that broadcast the sermon from the mother church. One church to pull this off was LifeChurch.TV.  They even took it to another level and let you experience church online.  I’ve never really explored their site to much, but the concept is growing. 

The reason I see this growing is two fold:

1. The pool of ministers that can preach a great sermon is pretty small.  I’ve been in church for nearly 12 years and the number of GREAT sermons I’ve heard is minimal.  One of those was at a conference, so I’m not sure it counts.

2. Due to the ability to hear sermons from all over the world the acceptance of subpar speakers is shrinking. People may first experience God’s message online from a dynamic speaker, such as Andy Stanley.  Then when they arrive in the church the minister gives a very basic message.  Now there is nothing stopping a church in Cincinnati from having church in their own location but listening/watching the sermon from Andy Stanley. 

So what you will start seeing is that very thing.  You will have local churches with a local leadership that make ‘church happen’, but then a message from a speaker that may in fact be from the other side of the country.  I think this is the next growth of denominations.  So along side the churches of Christ, the Baptist churches, the Catholic churches you will have ‘Northpoint – Cincinnati East’

Which I think would empower the local leadership to not get so wrapped up in the Sunday morning experience, as that will be covered by the mother church, and then focus on the church experience as a whole.  Small groups, outreach, and other community building activities.  It has the potential to remove a lot of the politics that fall around the church leadership structure.

So I wonder, will video kill the church minister?

What’s wrong with the government?  Clearly the tenth amendment sheds some light on it:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Our government has overstepped its bounds in relation to this law, but it has happened in a very tricky way.  Money.  One of the main complaints Republican governors had about the stimulus money was the unemployment part of it.  Accepting the unemployment money today held you to certain requirements tomorrow.  The same thing goes with DUI laws, accept the .08 limit and get federal money for your roads.

Then there is the other stretches for what is exactly delegated to the United States by the Constitution?

It turns out that includes more and more each year.  This non-sense has to stop and states need to stop looking to Uncle Sam for their bailout and start paying their own bills.

February 1997 as an 18 year old father I took a job at Celotex.  The location I worked at was a shingle mill.  We made ton’s of shingles, from your basic 3-Tab shingle to the elite ‘Presidential Shake’ shingle.  We put out a lot… of garbage.  Really it shocks me to think about how much trash we put out the door that later came back to us. 

It was a union shop.  I was actually a union steward for a period.  At times we had 150+ people working there during my 3 years stint at that location.  At other times it employed thousands of people.  But this thing happened, creative destruction. Celotex did not adapt, companies like Owens Corning did.  The end result was that Celotex went out of business.  I quit six months before the location I was at went out of business for good, because I saw it coming and at that time I had a couple babies to take care of with one on the way. 

Creative destruction is really the corner stone of capitalism.  You have to let things die, companies are not immortal.  There is no reason why Ford, GM, Chrysler, and AIG should be considered to big to fail.  Why? 

Below are some pictures I took today while driving past what used to be Celotex.  A place that used to employ thousands.  Now was just a bulldozed field.

View Full Album

[Initially Written 3.4.2009]