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I’ve read a lot of opinions on Tiger Wood’s and the problems he has had recently.  I do use this blog as a bit of a journal of my thoughts, so I’m going to throw out some thoughts here.

Is it a big deal?

Yes.  Sure, Tiger Woods is “just a sports star.”  BUT, I’m telling you that children look up to these stars in a great way.  Especially when those stars sell themselves as role models.  My oldest son wrote a paper about himself earlier this year, and his role models were players on the Reds.  So yes, it matters when a person like Tiger Woods falls as much as he has fallen.

I’m young enough to remember the effects that Bill Clinton had on America’s youth.  I was in junior high and high school when he was going through his indiscretions.  The change his actions had on the thoughts and actions of teenagers was amazing, and not in a good way.  From, “I tried pot'” to Monica Lewinsky. 

Now, the biggest star of our current time, has taken his marriage and disregarded it in his personal life. I shudder to think what this is going to do to marriage when today’s youth grow up a bit.  Especially as some of the gory details come out.

Women’s rights groups react?

Earlier this week I was taking a vacation day and the upstairs TV was on “The Wendy Williams Show”, as it comes on after the news that my wife watches.  She was talking about how the women’s rights groups were going to jump all over Tiger Woods.  Excuse me??  Last time I checked there were 10 reported women who ignored the marriage vows just as much as Tiger did. 

The State Of Marriage…

Makes me sick.  I’ve sat and watched several friends go through infidelity.  Several, “Christian” friends.  Is it that hard to actually stay committed to your spouse?  I’ve been married for 12 years and have never had the urge to step out on my wife.  We, as a culture, have failed when it comes to honoring marriage so it is no surprise that the very institution of marriage is under attack.  Because “normal” is broke.  I fast forward my life and, God willing, when I am 60 my wife and I can be that couple celebrating 41 years of marriage… and frankly, I feel like we’d be the only ones there.  It is rare today, imagine how rare it will be in 2040. 

Maybe I’m being ‘judgmental’, but some things should be judged, and without apologies.  There are things that must be fought for, even when you aren’t perfect.  Marriage is one such thing. 

I’m fed up!

This year I watched a friendship disappear due to infidelity.  This was not the first friend to go down such a path, but was probably the one I learned the most from.  The next friend will be handled differently.  In the past I’ve tried to be a negotiator, trying to get the offending spouse to “see the light” with reason and logic.  But the truth is, that has never worked.   The next friend will be hit with the truth and realistic consequences of the truth.  I’m tired of watching marriages fall apart.  

Previously I discussed the list of requirements put in the Bible for Elders.

Now there are two lines of thoughts with this:

1. All are required to be met.

2. This is a best case list.  If a person has 19 of the 20, should that disqualify them?

Now I have previously admitted that I fit more into number one than two, and here is why.

The people (in my type of church at least) that take number two as their position only do it for a few of them, then there are the required ones in the list.  These same people who think that the requirement of having just one wife is up for debate about what that really means, would NEVER appoint a women Elder because of that same scripture.  I tend to take a very ‘legalistic’ view on these requirements because, as my friend put it, the purer your Eldership the purer your church. 

I want a church to be as close to being in line with the Bible as possible, and to me this is an easy part to get right. 

The argument to this is that by taking a strict view of this, you will disqualify many great leaders.  And I say, “Why?”  Just because a man isn’t qualified to be an Elder, what is stopping them from being a great leader of people?  Plus I think this puts it up to God to appoint Elders.

The ‘one wife’ scripture for example, there is a lot of this that is out of control of the man in the marriage. Someone could be the greatest husband and have their wife leave.    Then you have the ‘believing children’ scripture… this one will get a post of its own, but a person can be the greatest dad in the world and have their child walk away from the faith.  These are places that only God really has control over. 

Now the other caveat to this is that some will say, just because the person meets all the requirements doesn’t mean they should be an Elder.  I agree fully.  This, to me, is the starting point of a look for Elders and not the end.  You start here and you will get a very small list of qualified men.  Then you look at how these things played out.  Did his children believe because of his parenting, or just because they (on their own) became believers.  Did the man influence them to become believers in a great way?  Is his ‘one wife’ part of a functional and happy marriage?  Do you see teamwork in the marriage?  Or do you see two people that seem to have just stuck it out together?  To paraphrase a famous saying, the list of qualifications is not the end, it isn’t even the beginning of the end.  However it is the end of the beginning. 

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[Initially Written: 5.30.2009]

No real commentary on this post.  I just want to list the requirements of an Elder.  Will comment on them in later post.  But look over this list and think of the Elders in your church, how do they match up?

I will blatantly pull this from wikipedia, though I’ve added a few at the end.

• Blameless as a steward of God; above reproach (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6-7)

• Husband of one wife; a one-woman man (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6)

• Temperate, sober, vigilant (1 Timothy 3:2)

• Sober-minded, prudent (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:8)

• Of good behavior; orderly, respectable (1 Timothy 3:2)

• Given to hospitality (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8)

• Apt to teach; able to teach; he can exhort believers and refute false teaching (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:9)

• Not given to wine (1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 1:7)

• Not violent, not pugnacious (1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 1:7)

• Patient, moderate, forbearing, gentle (1 Timothy 3:3)

• Not a brawler; uncontentious; not soon angry or quick tempered (1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 1:7)

• Not covetous; not a lover of money; not greedy of base gain (1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 1:7)

• Rules well his own house; his children are faithful, not accused of rebellion to God (1 Timothy 3:4, Titus 1:7)

• Not a novice; not a new convert (1 Timothy 3:6)

• Has a good report or reputation with outsiders (1 Timothy 3:7)

• Not self-willed (Titus 1:7)

• A lover of what is good (Titus 1:7)

• Just, fair (Titus 1:8)

• Holy, devout (Titus 1:8)

• Self-Controlled (Titus 1:8)

• Wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything (1 Timothy 3:11)

• Willing/desiring the role (1 Timothy 3:1)

[See All Post in This Series]
[Initially Written: 5.29.2009]

I’ve been wanting to do a series of post on this for a long time.  The new testament has a very defined leadership structure for Christian churches.  The human leaders of a church are its Elders. 

In my not-so-humble opinion the requirements of being an Elder are pretty well defined, with some ambiguities, but overall the main things are the plain things.

There are really two arguments for some of the scriptures I will discuss over this series of post.

1. This is just a ‘best case’ list, it isn’t a requirement that all are met, but they should be used as a general guideline.

2. This list is just the start.  If you are disqualified by the requirements laid out in the Bible, then there is no reason to move on to the next step.

Let me be very up front, I am more in the camp of number 2 than I am in the camp of number 1.  Several years ago I asked a retired minister friend of mine what he thought about this and he said something to me that has forever changed my viewpoint on this topic.

The purity of your Eldership will define the purity of your church.

Very profound statement.   Then those in camp number one are very inconsistent with that application, which I will of course cover in a later post.

I have been a member of three churches, the first two did not have Elders during my time at those churches.  The third church had three Elders upon my arriving.  I looked at them and at the very beginning I said this about one of them.

He is very young, and so are his children.  If I were king of the world, he’d not be an Elder because its unfair to his children and really he hasn’t been fully tested as a parent yet.

Let me be clear, there is a lot of personal opinion in that statement.  But I learned it from a very good friend, and now Elder of the Cincinnati Church of Christ.  When my family first joined the CCoC he and two other gentlemen were up for the Eldership, but he always seemed to delay the appointment.  In our conversations he has always pointed to his children as the reason for this.  They were all fairly young children and he didn’t want the pressure of their dad being an Elder to compound on what is already a difficult set of teen years.  One of the wisest decisions I’ve ever seen somebody make.  He is now an Elder, but when appointed all three of his children were college aged.  They had proven his personal leadership as worthwhile.  They were all committed Christians and trying to live the right life. 

So this is the perspective that will certainly guide my thoughts on the topics related to the requirements of an Elder.   The role of Elder in the church is so significant and so damaging if the wrong person is appointed.  Character flaws in the Eldership are not something to be ignored or white washed, their souls are on the line here and frankly so are the souls of the people they hurt and damage while being in that position.

I’ve personally seen the damage in my own family from an Elder with an unchecked character flaw from a person that really shouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place.  The damage in my family will likely persist for many years to come, so yes… this is personal to me and I won’t really hold back, its to important to hold back about.  This time it was my family.  Next time it just may be yours.

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[Initially Written: 5.25.2009]

In 1979 a British group called The Buggles released a song titled, “Video Killed the Radio Star”.  The music video for this song was the first video played on MTV at 12:10 AM August 1st, 1981 and then later the one millionth video on February 27, 2000.  MTV killed the below average looking musician.  Now, not only did you have to be able to sing you had to have the look as well.

I think the religious world is on the verge of the same dynamic.  Many large churches have started something new, satellite churches that have no actual minister.  What they have is a big screen that broadcast the sermon from the mother church. One church to pull this off was LifeChurch.TV.  They even took it to another level and let you experience church online.  I’ve never really explored their site to much, but the concept is growing. 

The reason I see this growing is two fold:

1. The pool of ministers that can preach a great sermon is pretty small.  I’ve been in church for nearly 12 years and the number of GREAT sermons I’ve heard is minimal.  One of those was at a conference, so I’m not sure it counts.

2. Due to the ability to hear sermons from all over the world the acceptance of subpar speakers is shrinking. People may first experience God’s message online from a dynamic speaker, such as Andy Stanley.  Then when they arrive in the church the minister gives a very basic message.  Now there is nothing stopping a church in Cincinnati from having church in their own location but listening/watching the sermon from Andy Stanley. 

So what you will start seeing is that very thing.  You will have local churches with a local leadership that make ‘church happen’, but then a message from a speaker that may in fact be from the other side of the country.  I think this is the next growth of denominations.  So along side the churches of Christ, the Baptist churches, the Catholic churches you will have ‘Northpoint – Cincinnati East’

Which I think would empower the local leadership to not get so wrapped up in the Sunday morning experience, as that will be covered by the mother church, and then focus on the church experience as a whole.  Small groups, outreach, and other community building activities.  It has the potential to remove a lot of the politics that fall around the church leadership structure.

So I wonder, will video kill the church minister?

I’m going to give Sam Barrington a big (err bigger) head.  This is the second time in a month I’ve referenced a sermon of his.

As it turns out he preaches a similar sermon to this every year.  A  history of the church he leads.  Where it went from an non-instrumental Church of Christ to barely being able to be classified as a restoration movement church (not saying that is totally bad, just stating a ‘fact’).   So he shares this story every year to remind the church, himself, and the rest of the leadership about where they’ve been and how they make the decisions about where they are going.

During the sermon this year, he said something that struck me. Slight paraphrase. 

If you try to reach out to everybody, you reach out to nobody.

I’ve set back and seen churches try to be everything to everybody, and people got frustrated.  Because, honestly, you just can’t be.  Money, time, and people just don’t allow for it.  So to take care of people x, you have to take away from opportunities to take care of people y.  Then what happens is people y are upset because they aren’t getting the tools they need to ‘do their job’.

So a church should say we are reaching for ‘people x’, inform the church that they are reaching for ‘people x’ and then make every decision based on how to reach them.  The more specific ‘x’ is the more successful your church will be.  Because you can do a few things.  First you can measure how your evangelistic efforts are doing.  Secondly the people of the church can get behind a specific purpose and goal and make it work.

I’ve seen it.  I’ve lived it.  I really am rethinking church and I think this was another of those ‘ah ha’ moments.  I’ve seen churches try to be ‘the’ church that people go to.  So they build the church looking at becoming that regional church, while ignoring the people in their back yard.

Sam had a similar revelation himself in regards to this when he turned 30, so he has a six month head start on me.  He was praying about a church building project his church was about to undertake and he felt God say to him:

What makes you think you’d be a better steward somewhere else then where you are presently at?

To me this is building more and more upon my other ‘ah ha’ moment I’ve had this year regarding church.  If I were to phrase it in a question like the one above it would probably go like this:

What makes you think you’d be a better steward of the people not at your church then you are with the people inside your church presently?

It builds upon a scripture I’ve referenced several times recently.

Matthew 23:26 – Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

While I am slightly twisting this scripture, I think the principal applies.  You have to take care of the inside before you can even think about being able to appropriately take care of the outside.

[Initially Written 1.28.2009]

Every church I have been in counts attendance.  I believe that my first church only counted the adults, but lets be real here in the fact that was now pushing 5 years ago.  My second church was a bit of a shocker for me when I realized they counted not only the adults but the children.  Then I come to find out that is actually standard practice in churches.

However, I’ve recently discovered a new method of counting.  Pregnant mothers get counted twice (or I guess how many known babies are in the belly)!  The thought process being that of an unborn baby is a life, then it should be counted.

Interesting concept.

Oh, the church… Loveland Christian Church.

You can read the introduction, who I think is responsible, the current situation, some things to fix it, went over a reader recommended 'why' a person should give, and now I'll wrap it all up.

I've given some post here that may fire people up.  Some may think, "Who are you to think you know everything about this?"  Or that I just don't understand. Or a similar question posed to me recently regarding a real life situation, "What makes you think you know better than the people God has  put in the positions to make these decisions?"

I certainly don't know everything, but I certainly do understand.  People leave churches all the time due to money, the church (especially leadership) is called to leave the 99 to save the 1 and they should be working to save the many who have left due to this topic.  The current setup is broke, there are way to many public financial scandals to call it OK.  Being a church goer I also know that what we hear about on the news is only the tip of the ice burg.  There are some things that it doesn't take a "calling from God" into an official position, or a masters in church functions to figure out.  Finances is clearly one of those topics in today's church.

You'll notice that I didn't cover the televangelist and other similar ministries.  Honestly... don't think they are worth the space on my blog.

So that's what I have to say on the topic.  Hope you found it of some interest.

You can read the introduction, who I think is responsible, the current situation, and some things to fix it. Now I want to cover a topic brought up by a commenter of this thread.  The benefits of giving, basically, why should a person give?

Now I want to preface this post with the fact that I do not mean a person should give to a church their entire tithe.  This should not be taken as a reason why you should give to a church, but a reason why you should give to God.  Though some of this will certainly show why a person should give to 'their' church.

1. You reap benefits from it.  The minister, building, etc... is not free. Now sadly, the pocket book is generally the only way that a member can voice their opinion and guarantee they are heard.  Then there are times when giving to a church is being a poor steward of your money and should be avoided.  However, the vast majority of the time you should be giving something directly to the general fund of your church.  People that do the job in ministry have the right to expect their financial needs met.

2. You build up rewards in heaven. The Bible makes it clear that your deeds and actions on Earth will become treasures in heaven.

3. You make the world better.  Even the worst churches offer more hope than Obama ever could offer.  If just one person is given eternal salvation, its worth it.

4. It forces you to have your budget strait.  Giving is hard.  You can't give to something that you don't get back from directly unless your budget is in order.

5. You help people.  I've loved giving money that I know helped a person out so much that they cried tears.  Probably the most rewarding stuff I've ever done outside of adoption.

6. The Bible teaches it.  Here is a great web site on the topic of money.

When you give it helps you.  It gives you a little joy in that you are making the world better.

You can read the introduction, who I think is responsible, the current situation, and some things to fix it.

Today I'll answer the question on if I think it is broken.

First from the point of view of the members.  A resounding YES.  To many of us Christians have spent our money very unwisely (raising hand) and have put us in bondage.   Then a $15 dollar a week average is pathetic.  I'd like to say its that low because people are giving to other resources, but their not.  We are just way to strapped financially to be truly effective.

There are some Christians I know that are debt free (outside of a mortgage), I'm a bit jealous of them.  I'll have two bits of debt for many years to come in regards to my student loans and our mortgage, but we are not that far off (in the grand scheme of things) from having our debt evaporate in a quick manner. 

Now from the point of view of the church.  Another resounding yes.  WAY to many churches are on the verge of collapse due to their finances.  2009 will be super tough on these churches as people get scared and stop giving money, on top of others losing their jobs and being unable to give.  Churches really need to learn to live well within their means and have some amount of reserve to deal with unexpected, but sizable issues.  A family in a strapped state financially affects themselves primarily, a church in a strapped state financially affects many different families.

Now I've spoken bad about my first church a few times in this series, now I am going to take a second to praise them.  In the early years of my involvement there they were very bad with finances.  But the people in charge of the money were the staff members led by policies written by outside leaders.  They spent like drunken sailors.  Then when that church started to reap what they sowed and things fell apart.  Then some interesting things happen and a church that lived week to week previously had at least (and I'm pretty sure this number is low (very low)) $250,000 in the bank.  At this point the leadership was a much more conservative group of men.  One of them whose finances have always stunned me.  He had a job that is usually held by people that live very extravagant life styles, and honestly probably made enough to live that lifestyle.  But he didn't.  He led a life that seemed very normal.  Still in awe of this mans family.  So they started making wise decisions with their money.  I'm not sure where they are now financially, but I'd be willing to bet they are in good shape. 

So, yes its broken.  The question is, is either party willing to do the hard work it requires to fix it? 

Now to be true with this series, I don't think it is fixed if everybody started giving 10% to the church.  Only if people start giving a sacrificial amount to God.  Be it to their church, their favorite mission, whatever...  I think if everybody just gave the the church it would result in a very unhealthy dynamic where people just mark tithing off of their list, and don't give much thought to where or why. 

I also think there is some responsibility to give some money to your home church.  I've honestly been in a few seasons where my heart wasn't prepared to do that, and I withheld from my home church.  I think 'for seasons' that is OK, but if its a life long... I'll never give to a church, you have issues that need to be dealt with.